Career Day

Career Day                    

Teacher: Parents, thank you so much for coming to career day! When you get finished up with your questionnaire, bring them up to the front.

Several parents turn theirs in and return to their seats*

Teacher: Alright, let’s get started *shuffles papers* Uhh, Mr. Johnston, why don’t you get us started?

Mr. Johnston walks up

     Mr. Johnston: Hi class, my name’s Mr. Johnston, or as some of you call me, Dad *finger pistols to daughter and winks* …I’m an accountant, do any of you know what accountants do? Well, accountants manage all the mon-

Teacher: Mr. J, I’m going to have to cut you off there for the sake of our sanity. It says here *looks at questionnaire* that you wanted to be an NBA player growing up. Don’t see a lot of guys with your physique in the league these days

     Mr. Johnston: Hahaha, no, a few pounds in college derailed that dream

Teacher: Yeah Stockton, I’m sure that was it…So you had dreams of putting up big numbers?

     Mr. Johnston: I sure did *air jump shot*

Teacher: But now you just count numbers?

     Mr. Johnston: Yeah? *starting to seem annoyed*

Teacher: Alright, Mr. Johnston, everybody. I’m sure Keri is so proud

Light clapping while Mr. Johnston sits back down

Teacher: Okay, up next, Mrs. Cheung

Mrs. Cheung walks up

Teacher: Mrs. Cheung, what do you do?

     Mrs. Cheung: (excitedly) Well, I’m sure some of you have seen my billboards around town, I’m an insurance agent.

Teacher: It says here you wanted to be a paleontologist. How’d that work out?

     Mrs. Cheung: Turns out there are a lot less of those out there than I realized

Teacher: Too bad you weren’t around for the Big Bang – you could’ve made a fortune on collision coverage.

     Mrs. Cheung: (nervously chuckles)

Teacher: Next! Mr. Watt. *he starts to get up, teacher signals to stay put* Stay there – let’s not even bother. Says here you wanted to be an astronaut…

Camera pans to Mr. Watt looking uncomfortable

Camera goes back to teacher’s desk, teacher pulls out a telescope from by her desk and is staring down Watt through its lens

Teacher: (you wanted to be an astronaut)...and yet here you are.

     Mr. Watt: Yeah, Apollo scared me away, I’m a columnist for the paper now

Teacher: Oooooh the newspaper – so you and Mrs. Cheung both have an interest in things that go extinct… Class, this is why I stress the importance of setting realistic goals

     Mr. Johnston: You should be telling our kids to dream big – I mean, did you always want to be a second grade teacher??

Parents take their kids and all walk out

Cut classroom scene, opens on scene over teacher’s shoulder, on her computer that night

*enters login info, gets prompted with security questions*

On Screen: “What was your childhood dream job?”

*Teacher dejectedly types “Foot model” and the camera pans down to her hairy feet with 11 toes. She sighs knowing her dreams will never come true.*

END

Career Day                    

Teacher: Parents, thank you so much for coming to career day! When you get finished up with your questionnaire, bring them up to the front.

Several parents turn theirs in and return to their seats*

Teacher: Alright, let’s get started *shuffles papers* Uhh, Mr. Johnston, why don’t you get us started?

Mr. Johnston walks up

     Mr. Johnston: Hi class, my name’s Mr. Johnston, or as some of you call me, Dad *finger pistols to daughter and winks* …I’m an accountant, do any of you know what accountants do? Well, accountants manage all the mon-

Teacher: Mr. J, I’m going to have to cut you off there for the sake of our sanity. It says here *looks at questionnaire* that you wanted to be an NBA player growing up. Don’t see a lot of guys with your physique in the league these days

     Mr. Johnston: Hahaha, no, a few pounds in college derailed that dream

Teacher: Yeah Stockton, I’m sure that was it…So you had dreams of putting up big numbers?

     Mr. Johnston: I sure did *air jump shot*

Teacher: But now you just count numbers?

     Mr. Johnston: Yeah? *starting to seem annoyed*

Teacher: Alright, Mr. Johnston, everybody. I’m sure Keri is so proud

Light clapping while Mr. Johnston sits back down

Teacher: Okay, up next, Mrs. Cheung

Mrs. Cheung walks up

Teacher: Mrs. Cheung, what do you do?

     Mrs. Cheung: (excitedly) Well, I’m sure some of you have seen my billboards around town, I’m an insurance agent.

Teacher: It says here you wanted to be a paleontologist. How’d that work out?

     Mrs. Cheung: Turns out there are a lot less of those out there than I realized

Teacher: Too bad you weren’t around for the Big Bang – you could’ve made a fortune on collision coverage.

     Mrs. Cheung: (nervously chuckles)

Teacher: Next! Mr. Watt. *he starts to get up, teacher signals to stay put* Stay there – let’s not even bother. Says here you wanted to be an astronaut…

Camera pans to Mr. Watt looking uncomfortable

Camera goes back to teacher’s desk, teacher pulls out a telescope from by her desk and is staring down Watt through its lens

Teacher: (you wanted to be an astronaut)...and yet here you are.

     Mr. Watt: Yeah, Apollo scared me away, I’m a columnist for the paper now

Teacher: Oooooh the newspaper – so you and Mrs. Cheung both have an interest in things that go extinct… Class, this is why I stress the importance of setting realistic goals

     Mr. Johnston: You should be telling our kids to dream big – I mean, did you always want to be a second grade teacher??

Parents take their kids and all walk out

Cut classroom scene, opens on scene over teacher’s shoulder, on her computer that night

*enters login info, gets prompted with security questions*

On Screen: “What was your childhood dream job?”

*Teacher dejectedly types “Foot model” and the camera pans down to her hairy feet with 11 toes. She sighs knowing her dreams will never come true.*

END