The Week in Sports 7/16

Rumor has it that Magic told LeBron that a key part of playing in LA is to “Keep it in your shorts”. There seems to have been a miscommunication, as it appears that LeBron heard “Keep it on your shorts”

Speaking of LeBron, 76ers front office executives have claimed that they were very close to getting the MVP Small Forward to sign with them. That’s really great to hear, I’m excited for Rihanna to “strongly consider” going on a date with me and then not do it.

Jabari Parker signed with the Bulls on a 1 year, $20 million deal – what some are considering to be an overpay. In Parker’s eyes he’s being underpaid, as this is nowhere near how much he got for a 1-year-deal from Coach K.

Pending a physical, Ronaldo will be leaving Real Madrid and heading to play for Juventus. I’m no doctor, but he doesn't exactly strike me as a guy that fails a lot of physicals.

Albert Pujols hit career homerun number 630 to tie Ken Griffey Jr on the all-time list. 630 is a milestone number for Pujols, as in addition to his homerun count, it’s also his bed time.

At Wimbledon, Kevin Anderson and John Isner played the second-longest match ever, lasting nearly 6.5 hours. AMC wasn’t thrilled with the match, as “Two white guys in flowy, white clothes going back and forth for 6.5 hours” is also how they promoted the last season of Breaking Bad.

Just months after giving birth to her first child, Serena Williams was just one match away from bringing home the trophy at Wimbledon. The arena was nearly entirely filled with fans of Serena, but there was one guy who seemed to be rooting heavily against her for some reason.